Question
At the end of 2022, my cousin borrowed $30,000** from me*** for an emergency because he was unemployed. A few days ago, my cousin told me that he had found a job and returned the entire 30,000 dollars he had borrowed from me. When he returned the money, he thanked me for my timely help and transferred 888 dollars to me. But I don’t know how my cousin explained this to my cousin’s wife, who has been hinting at me in the family group for the past two days, saying that interest is charged on money borrowed and repaid between family members. I feel a little embarrassed, I always feel that my cousin’s wife is insinuating that I don’t know if I should return the 888 yuan or buy something for their children. In fact, my cousin is my sister-in-law’s son, when I lent him the money, I never mentioned charging interest, nor did I have such an idea. This is also the first time my cousin borrowed money from me, less than 4 months to pay it off, should be really in trouble, need to use the turnover, ** I need to return this money **?
Opinion
Don’t return this money, because it would be a mistake to do so instead.
It is pretty much certain that your cousin and cousin-in-law have similar personalities. They just handle things differently.
As someone who borrowed money and got scolded, you are a good person and don’t deserve to be bullied. Let me come up with a solution for you because I don’t want to see good people have to be held at gunpoint.
The right way to respond
I will discuss this in three ways:
- Analyze behaviorally why your cousin did what he did.
- Explain logically where your cousin’s wife’s Lion’s Roar Kung Fu lifeblood is located.
- Examine how to deal with your cousin’s and cousin’s wife’s double sword combination from the perspective of the rules of the jianghu.
These three topics cover different areas and are full of excitement, so sit still and hold on tight, it’s easy to flash your back if you’re not careful.
First, why did your cousin give you interest out of reluctance. It wasn’t even thought you’d take it.
Because it’s paid back to you in two installments. The reason is simple: any aberrant behavior on his part must have its own logic and motive.
What’s abnormal behavior?
Any behavior that doesn’t go straight to the goal is aberrant, because human instincts make you solve problems in the most energy-efficient way possible. Not the other way around.
For example, if I can eat 5 katsuobushi in one meal, I’ll go downstairs to the katsuobushi store and buy 5 at a time and eat them all at once. This is a normal behavior. If I could eat five, I’d have to make five trips downstairs to buy one at a time. You can wonder if I’m up to something. For example, the girl who owns the yakitori restaurant downstairs is so pretty, I’d eat yakitori every day just to talk to her. I eat it all the time, just to talk to her. If you can’t figure it out, think about when you were in school and you wanted to chase the class president, didn’t you want to go home even if it was close to your home, and you’d rather go around in circles than go home with her?
Well, if you agree with the above logic, then the form to pay back the money and interest, if he is sincere to pay back, the instinctive behavior should be what?
It’s a direct transfer of 30,888, with an interest rate of 888, right? That’s the most direct way to pay him back. You don’t have to transfer the money twice and enter the code twice.
So, what’s the point of having separate transfers, separate principal and interest ###?
The idea is that you can choose not to receive the interest.
From here, we can see that your cousin’s subtext does not really want to give interest, and would like you to refuse to accept it.
Then why does he want to transfer interest?
In order not to owe you this favor ah.
Your cousin’s subconscious wants you to do this: accept the principal, and then said are relatives and what interest, the interest to return, you see you so, the money back, but also do not owe favors. In the future, even if there are other things wrong you, you want to reason with this matter, cousin can use a sentence ‘’I give you interest, but you do not accept ah’’, what a perfect solution!
This is the way, do not experience experience not deep.
If your cousin transfers 30888, with interest, you can’t refuse to accept it. But that’s not what he wanted.
If your cousin didn’t do it, he didn’t want to pay interest and save face.
Remember, folks, if you’re ever in a lending situation, there are three things you can do if the person really wants to pay you back
- negotiate the interest rate at the time of borrowing. 2.
- pay back the money together with the principal and interest, so you can’t refuse.
- pay back the money in person, pay back the principal, and bring gifts as interest.
That’s what you do when you really want to pay interest. Anyone who transfers money twice with separate payments must want you to stop charging interest. So if this happens in the future, whether to take the money, or not to take the money as a gesture, it depends on the situation.
Back to the question, you didn’t get what you paid your cousin for. He’s not going to be happy.
That’s why your sister-in-law is yin-yanging you, but your cousin is silent, the thinking, the behavior, the facts are all the same. They’re thinking the same thing, they’re just one person’s face and the other person’s face.
Secondly, let’s move on to the loopholes in your cousin’s wife’s magic
Your sister-in-law is a perfectionist, and I’m talking about what he expects from others.
Good comes before evil, and evil comes after good
This behavior is evil if you call it money-grubbing in the worst sense of the word. But it’s only possible because of your good deed of lending money.
To elaborate, you lent your cousin thirty thousand dollars without saying anything. It must be a good deed. If you hadn’t borrowed the money, where would the interest have come from? What reason would your sister-in-law have to criticize you?
So, this is essentially a case of the cousin’s sister-in-law making up a story, not talking about your generosity in lending him the money. But she’s holding on to this little tail of interest.
He’s a perfectionist, in her worldview, you should be a good person. You can’t lend money, you can’t make money, you can’t be a good person.
That’s outrageous.
It’s like when you’re eating a roast on the street, and a beggar comes and asks for it, so you give him one of your unfinished roast, but the beggar doesn’t even mention your good deed of giving him food. But the beggar doesn’t even mention your good deed of giving him food, but he rolls around and shouts in the street that you are too stingy. It’s not easy to eat a roasted food but he had to eat your leftovers.
See? That’s how outrageous it is, not to mention the good cause, but not to let go of the small defects. Ignoring the fact that it’s the good deed that makes it true. Hold on to it.
That’s why my family is so nosy. If I were to say, “If you don’t have 30,000, you won’t be able to pay the 888 interest, so keep it for yourself! I’ll make sure she can’t breathe! She can’t find a word to say in return.
I can see what they’re thinking.
I can see why your sister-in-law is so mean and your cousin is so mean, I can see what they’re thinking.
The fact that your cousin just got a job a few days ago, and he’s paying back the money before he’s even gotten his paycheck, tells me one thing.
It means that the money was used to prepare for an unknown risk. It hasn’t been used yet. So it costs 888 more in interest to pay back money that hasn’t been used at all. In their style, it’s not like they’re cutting their hearts out. It makes sense that they wouldn’t want to pay interest.
Finally, let’s talk about how to deal with it.
It’s not right to give the money back.
Maybe you guys think you should just give back the 888 and never see each other again, but that’s not appropriate.
Why not?
You’re charging 888 interest. Being scolded, and then return the money, this is not to say that people scolded right?
Returning the money is your way of saying that you don’t think you should have taken the money.
You’re admitting your guilt.
You lent them the money without asking why, at the risk of not getting it back. Are you being unreasonable? There is no such thing in the world.
That’s why we can’t go down this road.
Our strategy should be to attack
We should never get into this kind of passive situation. We prefer to attack.
So our strategy is to use her logic to attack the holes in his logic. She doesn’t want to talk about the good, she wants to catch the bad. Then I’ll show her how hard it is to do good.
Tell her.
I’m sorry, sister-in-law, I really don’t want to charge that interest, but you don’t know, last year when my brother asked me to borrow money, I was in a difficult situation, and I was going to get money to buy a car to run the network car.
I was in a difficult situation last year when I asked for money to buy a car to run an online car.
At that time, I didn’t have enough money, and when my brother asked for money, I had to help my brother, so I lent him the money first, so that you could live your life.
I lent him the money so that you could live on.
This time my brother gave me more money, I thought I could get enough for the down payment earlier. I really don’t treat my brother as an outsider.
I really don’t treat my brother as an outsider.
So I think you must not treat me as an outsider either, otherwise you wouldn’t have borrowed money from me, right?
I’m sure you don’t think of me as an outsider either.
I’ll tell you what, I’ll help you, and you’ll help me. Now, you can lend me 30,000 dollars, and I’ll get my car first, I’m in a recession. I’ll make the money from the car, and I’ll pay you back an extra 1,000! I’ll pay you back an extra 1,000! I’m a grateful man, so you’ll have to take it!
I’ll pay you back 1,000 more! My brother is a grateful man, sister-in-law must take it!
Give them a taste of what it’s like to give money away.
The choices they face
The first option is to refuse to lend the money under various pretexts.
You can ask him, “How can you pick on me when you can’t even lend me the money? You don’t know how to play volleyball and you don’t think the national team is good at it, right?
The second option is to say that you don’t want to lend money, and you don’t want the benefits you give, as long as you change the 888 back on the line.
This will expose the nature of the future to ensure that all the relatives in the group, no one with them in the future criminal borrowing money.
The third option promises to lend money, but also want interest.
That means that he is the same as you, the previous yin and yang your words, now all the original way back.
The fourth option is to lend money without interest in front of everyone.
That’s good, you didn’t have a time limit when you borrowed the money. This time you take the money to the bank a deposit, until the bank interest rate to 1000 and then take out to pay back the money. You didn’t lose anything. But over the course of a few years, they’ll be tormented by the possibility that you won’t pay them back. After all, you were disliked in the group to borrow money. They borrowed it to save face. Every day they worry that the money won’t come back.
These are just a few of the situations, and all of them happen in front of relatives, no matter what the outcome, guaranteed to make him not get any benefits.
The most important thing is, this method can make all the audience to return to the attention of the borrower’s money this thing itself is very great thing. And then ignore the interest issue. The interest issue initiated by your brother and sister-in-law will be downplayed.
Real-world examples
This program is a real-life example.
There was a bad boy, when he was young, a friend asked another friend for a loan and paid back the money with an extra penny of interest.
In fact, this is the acquaintance lending rules, basically so handle.
However, the friend who borrowed the money went around the world, and when the bad guy found out, he invited a bunch of his friends to dinner. He used the above method to borrow money from the former in front of him, and raised the interest rate to a higher level. The friend was embarrassed on the spot.
After that, no one had any dealings with the borrower anymore. Because we all know that he is a person who can only take advantage of, can not eat half of the loss. Only friends trust him to lend her money. But he does not trust his friends not to lend money to others yakuza.
Don’t ask who this bad boy is.
